The Pedicure that Opened My Eyes
January 28, 2010 1 CommentA close friend from out of town (who happens to be quite stunning) generously treated me to a pedicure several weeks back. As my tattered tootsies soaked in the pool of warm water, and my aching back was massaged by that nifty chair, the lady gently working on my callused lower appendages began to shed an outpouring of compliments.
“Wow, you are SO beautiful!” “You have absolutely perfect teeth!” “Look at that smile!”
I opened my heavy eyelids and began working up my sweetest smile, clearing my throat to voice my gratitude. As my vision came into focus, I saw that the lady so graciously dispensing those accolades was not directing them at me! The looks of wonder and amazement were being cast towards my very beautiful friend!
I began to sink a little lower in my chair. “How silly of me to consider that she was referring to me!” I thought.
I made a joking comment about how it’s a good thing my friend lives out of state or I’d feel threatened. That really backfired. The focus immediately turned on me.
“Oh, you’re beautiful too! You look like a mom!” What’s that supposed to mean?? My teeth began to grind and my toe hair stood on end.
My friend commences to pull her cell phone out of her pocket and says, “Want to see what she looks like when she’s all done up?”
Oh, dear. “Hey,” I said. “This is about as good as it gets. My hair is brushed and I have makeup on. I AM done up!”
Later that afternoon, I made a silly comment during a conversation with this friend about looking like a mom.
“Oh no!” she said. “I hope you didn’t take that personally. That lady was just trying to say that it’s clear you have no time to take care of yourself!”
Did I mention my friend is not a mom? And has plenty of time to take care of herself?
I’m sure you’re no stranger to the concept that, in order to be a “quality” mom, you need quality time for yourself too. Doesn’t it seem at times that this is asking a bit too much?
Of course we would love to have quality time to ourselves, but that can be way easier said than done.
I’ve been told that I need to get up earlier to make sure that I get some “me” time before the kids wake up. Do you REALLY want to see what I’m like with even LESS sleep??
My biggest thing now is trying to get to the gym. My one-and-a-half year old and my 3 month old have alternating sleep patterns, so as soon as one gets up, the other one has just fallen asleep and I don’t have the heart to wake them up and haul them to the gym just to throw them in daycare with a bunch of rambunctious, crying children that they don’t even know.
So what’s the solution? How are we supposed to get this mysterious “me” time in that is so unfamiliar to us moms?
Here are five suggestions I’ve come up with:
Schedule It – Set a time every week for yourself, and let all parties know you are not to be disturbed during that time. Whether it’s 15 minutes or a couple hours, this is YOUR time, and it is not to be infringed upon. Tell your kids that they have you all the other time during the week, and that if they want their time with you to be pleasurable, happy, and fun – you need them to honor it.
Get Up Earlier – I almost laugh as I type this. My mind isn’t very open to that one, but it might work for you. Especially if it’s before the kids are awake. It’s so quiet and peaceful.
Don’t Underestimate the Power of a Hot Bubble Bath – This can be a truly rejuvenating experience. I do a lot of my thinking, dreaming, and planning in the tub. It’s a great stress-reliever too. When I actually take the time for a hot bath, my family knows I’ve been pushed over the edge and need to wind down.
Go Out with a Friend or Your Honey - Sometimes it’s just not practical to get away from the kids, so just take them with you! It can still be an enjoyable time. Go shopping for a new pair of shoes or a new color of nail polish. Eat at your favorite restaurant. Maybe even just go for a drive! Just get out! It’s easy to get “cabin fever,” especially if you’re a stay-at-home mom. These days I get cheap thrills from a trip to Wal-Mart to buy cleaning supplies.
Go for a Walk - This has numerous benefits for you mentally, physically and emotionally. I’m pretty much guaranteed “alone time” on my walks. So far my kids don’t get excited about the idea of coming with me. It feels SO good. Try it! Even if it’s only 10 or 15 minutes. It’ll give you a chance to get your blood pumping, some fresh air, and a clearer mind. Enjoy some music too, if you like!
Pick one and do it this week, and let me know how it goes. I’d also love to hear any of your suggestions, so please comment below!
I guess it’s time for me to get outta my jammies and brush my hair!
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Personal Development
I’ve had several of those experinces. It is hard to make time for yourself when you are in a budget and you have little ones to take of.